


UNIMAGINABLE LOSS

by lila_luscious1



Series: NO AIR [1]
Category: Blindspot (TV)
Genre: Devastating Loss, F/M, Five Stages of Grief, Grief/Mourning, Loss, Love, death of a child
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-20
Updated: 2020-02-13
Packaged: 2020-12-26 23:36:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21109031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lila_luscious1/pseuds/lila_luscious1
Summary: Tasha and Edgar's receive devastating news at Tasha's third pre-natal visit





	1. IT CAN'T BE

**Author's Note:**

  * For [blindsmarcy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/blindsmarcy/gifts), [Bacner](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bacner/gifts), [4QuietRyt3r](https://archiveofourown.org/users/4QuietRyt3r/gifts), [Crazygremlin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crazygremlin/gifts), [Gasnina](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gasnina/gifts), [Repata_stories](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Repata_stories/gifts), [van22114](https://archiveofourown.org/users/van22114/gifts), [FanFictionLover](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FanFictionLover/gifts), [adangerousbond](https://archiveofourown.org/users/adangerousbond/gifts), [Scarletfern](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scarletfern/gifts), [briget_bee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/briget_bee/gifts), [atkinsgenniher](https://archiveofourown.org/users/atkinsgenniher/gifts), [beccab1](https://archiveofourown.org/users/beccab1/gifts), [beckysue](https://archiveofourown.org/users/beckysue/gifts), [Jem4ever](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jem4ever/gifts), [BellaKatrina](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BellaKatrina/gifts), [beckibenhoffer](https://archiveofourown.org/users/beckibenhoffer/gifts), [da_black_widow](https://archiveofourown.org/users/da_black_widow/gifts), [danilow1](https://archiveofourown.org/users/danilow1/gifts), [Zaffie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zaffie/gifts), [SAM_Reign](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SAM_Reign/gifts), [Andoras_Ice_Prince](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Andoras_Ice_Prince/gifts), [cedes_92150](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cedes_92150/gifts), [joli_camarillo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/joli_camarillo/gifts), [Patty_Parker60](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Patty_Parker60/gifts), [AshleTorres318](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AshleTorres318/gifts), [julrenda](https://archiveofourown.org/users/julrenda/gifts), [ample_annie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ample_annie/gifts), [ashlee_jordan888](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashlee_jordan888/gifts), [dirtydiana139](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dirtydiana139/gifts), [zombieblackbear](https://archiveofourown.org/users/zombieblackbear/gifts), [NovaScotHilander](https://archiveofourown.org/users/NovaScotHilander/gifts), [CourtneyMichelleLover](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CourtneyMichelleLover/gifts), [wicca7002](https://archiveofourown.org/users/wicca7002/gifts), [wafci62](https://archiveofourown.org/users/wafci62/gifts), [anthy03](https://archiveofourown.org/users/anthy03/gifts), [georgiamagnolia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/georgiamagnolia/gifts), [LeesyLovesBathenaAndVicley](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeesyLovesBathenaAndVicley/gifts), [The_Unseen_MrStanton](https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Unseen_MrStanton/gifts).

Office of Dr. Sally Chu, OBGYN

Ms Zapata, Mr Reade...I have some rather...devastating news for the two of you concerning your baby....  
as part of THE PRE-NATAL CARE REGIMEN, we've performed a battery of tests to determine the landmarks  
for development of the fetus' vital organs. Your child has a condition known as ANECEPHALY...

She explains what Anencephaly is: a serious birth defect in which a baby is born without parts of the brain and skull.  
It is a type of neural tube defect (NTD). As the neural tube forms and closes, it helps form the baby’s brain and skull  
(upper part of the neural tube), spinal cord, and back bones (lower part of the neural tube).

The usually briskly efficient, to the point OBGYN has no power over the tears that fill her eyes. "I'm beyond sorry, so  
beyond that, beyond sorry...your baby wouldn't live long after birth, if at all. His or her chances of survival after birth are...none. "

Stunned into silence, Tasha says nothing. Her eyes are vacant, blasted...

Reade says, "Re-do the test."

"Mr. Reade..."

"_RE--DO IT!_ ", Reade yells, jumping to his feet.

"I'm sorry." Dr. Chu whispers.

Dazedly, Zapata fumbles for her man's hand. "Vamos, Reade. Vamos." (Let's go)

As if in a dream, Reade allows Zapata to lead him from the room. Dr Chu, calls after them.

"My Assistant will call you in a few days...to to determine how you'd like to...proceed. Again,  
I can't express how very very sorry I am."

"Thank you."


	2. GO ON(?)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Aftermath: the very worst thing expectant parents can ever  
experience...Tasha and Reade struggle to cope...its hard to imagine  
how will they EVER.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NO AIR  
JORDYN SPARKS/CHRIS BROWN  
(J. Fauntleroy II, S.Russell, E.Griggs, H.Mason Jr., and D.Thomas)

Reade scheduled himself and Zapata out of the office for a few days after the horrific  
events at their OBGYN. For the most part, Tasha leaves him be; on the third day, however,  
she has to act..."Eddie...we have to make a decision, Baby. I've put Dr Chu off as long as I can.  
We...I NEED YOU TO HELP ME decide. Please, Reade. It's OUR decision. HELP ME."

"I need another day, OK. One more day, Tash."

"Y mañana, y lluego el dia que sigue, y el que sigue (and then then the next day, and the next)...por  
MI bien, por el bien de NOSOTROS-lo discutimos hoy"(for my good-for the good of us BOTH  
we discuss it now.)

Reade looks at her, his eyes unreadable. "Discutir matar nuestro bebe?" (Discuss killing our child?)

"We wouldn't be doing that...the baby won't survive-NO POSSIBILITY. I don't believe in abortion, and  
I know that you don't...I can't do it, Vida (Love): I can't let our baby be born, be on life support, then pass-  
I CAN'T DO IT."

[Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air?  
Can't live, Can't breathe with no air  
It's how I feel whenever you ain't there  
There's no air, no air]

"We have to let...him/her go," Reade says, his voice so low that Tasha barely hears him.

"Yes, Baby...we do. You never told your parents, right? About the pregnancy? I never told my Abuela."

"No. It was so early..."

"Call tomorrow? Dr Chu?"

"You'll do it, yeah?"

"We could go in person...tell her together. Get it...get it over with."

Edgar agrees. They sit together awhile longer, then go to their bedroom at 1030. Needing comfort, their  
innocent cuddling turns into sex. Not making love-what they need now, TONIGHT, is to FUCK...to fuck  
the pain of their decision away. And NO CONDOMS...their need for that precaution is long past.

[Can't live, Can't breathe with no air  
It's how I feel whenever you ain't there  
There's no air, no air  
Got me out here in the water so deep  
Tell me how you gonna breathe without me?  
If you ain't here I just can't breathe  
There's no air, no air  
No air, air]


	3. HEALING

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zapata terminates her pregnancy, successfully performed by Dr Chu.  
In the recovery suite, she's visited by Reade; also Patterson, the Wellers,  
Stuart, and Rich

"Baby" Her voice is very low, groggy from the sedatives and anesthesia.

Taking her hand, Reade smiles, repeats her greeting. "Rest. The whole Team is here. Bring  
‘em in?”

“OK”

Patterson, Kurt, Jane, Rich, and Stuart file into the room, one by one. “Tash, we’re all so sorry.”

“Thank you.”

Turning to the blue-eyed, tattooed brunette, the grieving Mother asks, “Jane, how’s your Little   
progressing? You had a recent check-up?”

Jane blinks; her friend and colleague has just un-willingly terminated her own pregnancy, and   
she’s asking about HERS.

“He’s good. MY heart is breaking, though. I can’t imagine how much this must hurt.”

“ALL of us, Tasha. ALL of our hearts”., Kurt says.

Patterson adds “He cried when he heard about your Little, Weller did.”

“Not ashamed to admit it”, Weller shrugs.

Reade says, quietly “We’re having a funeral in a few days, everyone.Family only.”

“Of course you can count on us,” Patterson assures him.

“You’re quiet today, Rich,” Tasha chides, companionably.

“I’m…LOST, Natasha…I wish I had words…”

[Is Rich _crying_ ?]

Zapata holds her arms out, silently, and Rich steps into them.

“Thank you”, she whispers.

Dr Chu pokes her head in. “Natasha needs to rest now. You may all Come back tonight; she’ll be discharged  
tomorrow.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Today...we a day we as parents pray that we never see..  
we commit this blessed child: Edgar Lurencio Luis Reade  
Zapata, to his Creator, with GLAD HEARTS...
> 
> 'Benito Padre...nosotros, sus servidores, entregamos a Usted,  
su sagrado Hijo...

Lurencio Luis Zapata Ruiz and Marlena Cavazos Salas de Zapata sit next to  
to their Daughter, one of her hands clasped in her Mother's; Reade has the other.  
HIS Mother, Marcella Reade, and his Father, Edward, are seated next to their Son.  
Tasha's Two Brothers and her Sister are on the other side of her Parents, with their Spouses  
and Children. Behind them are Reade's Brother Edgar Junior, his Spouse and Children, the Wellers,  
Patterson, Rich, Stuart, Director McCann, Jake Keaton, and Brianna. The next row are members of the  
Anti-Terrorism Task Force, including Isobelle Castille, Jubal Valentine, and Maggie Green.

*AFTER THE SERVICE, THE READE-ZAPATA CONDO*

"O; Mi Hijita...ya no aguanto...ya Nooo...que sera de nosotros!"  
(O, My daughter...I can't stand it...what will become of us!)

"No se, Mami...No se...vamos, acuestase en su cuarto; descanza", Tasha tells her softly. "Pa:  
hazme el favor de acompañar a mi Mama, por favor?  
(I don't know, Mami...laie down and rest in your room...Pa, go with my Mother, please?)

"CLARO...vamos, Señora". After kissing her Daughter's cheek, and nodding to his SIL, he leads  
his wife to the guest room, and closes the door.  
(Of course, Let's go, Mrs.)

A few hours later, after clearing the dishes and straightening up the common areas, the CIRG Team  
leaves for their respective residences.

*FIVE MONTHS LATER*

Newly expecting, once again, Zapata and Reade paint their new Baby Girl to be's nursery together.  
From the day she verified her pregnancy, Tasha has been diligent about including FOLIC ACID as  
part of her pre-natal care (as a preventative measure against the same condition afflicting her first baby).  
So far so good, though. She and her Man are blissfully happy: newlyweds, as well as expectant parents.  
She still thinks about Lurencio every way, and Edgar has confessed the same. The pain will likely never  
go away; it has lessened somewhat though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Benito Padre...nosotros, sus servidores, entregamos a Usted,  
su sagrado Hijo...
> 
> Blessed Father, we, your servants, return to you your sacred Son...


End file.
